Onions and Christmas Trees

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs :

In her 20's, they are more like melons, round and firm.
In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions".

"Onions?", the son asked.

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry", said the father.

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter turned around and asked her mom, "Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?".

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through these three phases :

In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree".

"A Christmas tree?", the daughter asked.

And to that, the mother replied, "Yes - the root's dead, and the balls are just for decorations!".